the daily pause
The Daily Pause #33
July 1, 2016
The Fibers of Your Being
May 23, 2017
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Your Inherent Potential to Heal and Transform


Spring is officially here! I love spending time in my yard, getting my hands dirty, playing with mother earth and cleaning, clearing and celebrating the arrival of new leaves and flower buds. This process always helps me reflect on the process of cleaning and clearing some of the weeds that have grown in my own inner garden…and that’s what today’s blog is all about.

A few months ago when the first Petunias came out in the garden store, I excitedly bought two purple and white plants for my front door. Sadly though, I couldn’t tend to them like I would have liked to. I procrastinated watering them regularly and didn’t move them in when we had overnight frosting temperatures. Needless to say I quite ignored them, didn’t care for them and obviously, within weeks they were dying. From the vibrant purple and white flowers they were when I first got them, they were now shades of brown, literally burying themselves in the dirt beneath them. It was their end, almost.

It wasn’t like I noticed their demise suddenly one day. I noticed their slow deterioration day by day and I still did not pick up the watering can. I resisted taking care of these beautiful plants that I first saw, bought and brought home. Why was I resisting taking care of them now? How weird am I?

And then my criticism and judgment of myself crept in. I have a brown thumb, not a green thumb. I kill everything that lives. I am terrible at gardening, why do I even bother? I can never take care of a plant, not even a cactus….and so on and on I went, belittling myself quite passionately. None of this self-deprecation and humiliation helped my Petunias any.

It just so happens that for a while during this time I was emotionally, mentally, and physically burned out myself. I thought the flowers would be a good pick-me-upper, but I forgot that they needed to be taken care of too! My own inner lack of joy, overwhelm with sadness and trauma and physical exhaustion had put such a toll on my ability to function at full capacity.

Thanks to the support system I have built over the years around me, my own inner work, transformational tools, and spiritual practice, I was able to take some time out and recover from this low time on my journey. I dug my hands into the roots of the planters, loosened them up, generously watered them, cleared and cleaned the dead flowers and leaves. In a few days, the stems had started to straighten up and some of the flower buds had started to open and reveal those beautiful purple and white flowers!

Over the following weeks, I’ve cleaned, cleared, celebrated, and taken much joy in not just these two pots at my front door but my garden in general. This experience has reminded me of an insight I had many years ago that “What I love, grows with love”. I had shared this in a blog in 2013 around the same time of the year! However this time, my insight led me to think about how relationships manifest in one’s life.

Just like the flowers that were almost dying due to neglect and resistance to care for them, one’s relationship in their life can look like it’s ready to be buried in the ground with a “Rest In Pieces” sign over it! At times a relationship might seem like it has nothing left in it, that there is no way it could survive, that from the “look” of it – it is most certainly OVER. And then it dawned on me that no matter how dark the times have been, there has still been an undiminished spark that keeps the light within me burning, maybe lower some days than others, but this light still burns. And it is this knowing of the inner essential self, birthed to not just die of neglect or barely survive, but to thrive, abundantly and outrageously.

And this is the lesson I was reminded of, that every relationship, no matter how it might “look” has the Inherent Potential to Heal and Transform! Sometimes we need to stoke it’s very roots, clean out the old stories like the dead flowers, invigorate it by shaking off the dried leaves like the complaints we have of one another, get out in the sun, for some laughter and fun and bring the attention to what is also beautiful in the relationship instead of only focusing on what isn’t. And most of all give it a generous helping of trust and belief, that the relationship itself has the inherent potential to heal and transform.

Relationships are not immune to change. My relationship with myself is different today than it was when I was 17 or 27 or 37. How about you?

There is so much more I want to share on this subject, and in the coming weeks, I might just do that…But in the meantime, take a moment to reflect on the questions for introspection below and leave me your response in the comments. You could also journal to go deeper with your self-inquiry!

Where are the weeds growing in my inner garden?

What would my life look like if I cleared my inner garden of those weeds, the old unwanted stubborn thoughts and stories?

When will it be time for me to live my fullest potential free from my past?

I hope you take a few moments to {pause} with these questions…I look forward to reading your insights in the comments below!

Until next time….may this {pause} be with you,


Image courtesy of Duane Bryce, Flickr, Creative Commons


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