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I Love You, I Hate You, I Love You

Think back to when you were a child. Things were much easier back then. If you were hungry, you grabbed a snack. If you were tired, you took a nap. And if you were upset you just threw yourself on the floor and cried…and it was perfectly fine. 

Something I miss about being a child is how innocently children love. Love to them seems to come naturally. They don’t question it. They don’t weigh the odds of getting hurt if they put their hearts on the line. No, children have a way of seeing the beautiful side in everyone and loving unconditionally. 


When we are born, we love innocently. There are no checks and balances. There are no conditions…nothing to consider before giving our love to another person. All we know is that pure, simple love. Love the way it was meant to be.

As I watch my sweet girls interact with one another, I notice how their love is truly unconditional. They laugh together and share toys and DVDs…it truly warms my heart to see how purely they love one another. Of course they are still children, so they do have their moments when they don’t get along, but even so a few minutes after a disagreement they are right back where they were moments before…plainly, simply, purely loving each other.

Ah, how we wish it were the same for us grown-ups. But you see, in growing up relationships over time sour. Our hearts break and we get mad, stay mad, and suffer…ultimately torturing ourselves. We let even the littlest of irritations push us over the edge, and we see these irritations as opportunities to revoke our love from others. We say things like, “How could you do this to me? I hate you!” or “What were you thinking? I am not speaking to you ever again!” 

Relationships can be complicated. As these hurts and heart breaks build up over time, we allow them to harden our hearts. Love no longer is something that is given freely as it was intended but now is something that we require to be earned by our standards. This vicious cycle of love, hurt, anger, revoking of love…it leads us down a path that is not serving our higher purpose. If we allow it to happen, we can be completely consumed by our hurts and suffering to the point where we see no more joy in life. Love then becomes something that seems unobtainable rather than something we celebrated every moment of our lives…as when we were children.

So what is the answer then? How do we break free from the ties that bind us to this suffering and torture…this cycle of “I love you, I hate you, I love you” that we have come to know as adulthood? I can sum it up in one word: forgiveness.

You see, when you look at the greater picture, forgiveness is the key to everything. Why do my girls not continue to fight over a toy for weeks at a time? Because after a few moments they realize how silly fighting over a toy is when they can just share. By choosing to share they can all have fun…and isn’t that the point in using a toy in the first place? Problem solved. No need for hard feelings because now everything is good again…and love has won.

We can have the love but only after we make the decision to forgive…because ultimately in forgiveness and compassion we find that love eventually succeeds, and that’s where peace and be found.

Sacred Affirmations for this moment:

I acknowledge that I hold the power to forgive in my heart.

I acknowledge that, while hurt and anger are a part of life, I ultimately choose the extent to which I allow them to affect me.

I forgive myself for all of the times in the past when I did not choose forgiveness.

I give myself permission to love purely, honestly, openly and unconditionally.

Take a few moments to reflect on these thoughts, share and discuss this blog. Your insights could help another reader, so don’t hold back, share the love. Tell me what you think? What were you present to when you read this article, I Love You, I Hate You, I Love You? I am so honored that you spent time in this sacred space with me. You make a difference in the Universe, always remember that! Now don’t hold back, speak your truth! The Universe is listening…..!


Richa xoxox

Richa Badami is a transformation leader, meditation teacher, spiritual coach and mentor. She inspires her clients and students to create lasting transformation and success by leveraging their inner power. Her private and group programs have helped hundreds heal, transform and powerfully create lives that they love! To receive Richa’s podcast, videos and blogs delivered right to your mailbox, subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter “The Pause”. For media inquiries send email to


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