Yes I said it. For years I have heard people tell me all about their affirmations, flash cards and vision boards. How looking at themselves in the mirror and repeating power statements in the morning and evening and writing in their daily journal helps them manifest their deepest desires. My question though is, has it worked?
If it’s worked for you that’s great. But honestly, I’ve found that it doesn’t always work, even though it sounds like a simple enough plan. I find those very people stuck in their old patterns year after year unable to have a real breakthrough despite all their effort.
I’ll be honest that I too have tried “changing” my life using affirmations, visions boards and mantras. But when old patterns easily returned and repeated themselves, I realized there was something fundamentally missing. Once I found that missing piece of the puzzle – nothing has ever been the same again. Here is what I found.
For years I thought I could fix what was broken in my life if I just pull up my socks, be a big girl and MOVE ON! While the adrenaline rush from giving myself a good pep talk would get me out the door, it would only take a few steps and I would find myself fumbling and tripping all over again. There had to be a better way, this couldn’t be it? Just as an engineer would never put a building on an unexcavated piece of land that’s thoroughly been cleared, you can’t “build” your life when your foundation is not clear and free of blocks. I had to pause and take a stock of my life:
I admit, affirmations can be powerful, but merely saying them isn’t enough. Your words have power. They are the vessel of your day, the vessel of your life. So you must choose them carefully. Words carry an energy in them, they have impact. However, if your belief systems remain unaltered and unchanged, then no matter how many of the greatest affirmations you chant day in and day out, your life will stay the same. For eg., if you are trying to attract money but you don’t believe in your own value or self-worth, you will never actually make more money. The same applies to relationships, career, communication, etc.
I’ve seen the law of attraction being used as band-aid. It makes you feel better but doesn’t take you to the root cause of why that “thing” is missing from your life to begin with. If you want a deeper, more meaningful relationship in your life and you use the law of attraction and begin seeing the “new” you using visuaization, journaling, affirmation etc, that’s great. But in order to make this new you be a “lasting” new you, you must ensure that you have increased your inner awareness. And by that I mean, if there were issues in your life, your past, that held you back from being in an open, alive and awakened relationship before this, then ask yourself if you have addressed them? Have you cleared, completed and forgiven that part of your life or are you still resentful? Trying to be in a lasting, loving relationship without healing past hurts and pain seldom works. To completely enjoy the now, you must completely forgive the past.
It doesn’t take enough money or time, but rather takes courage to be authentic. Are you ready to dare to live your life unreasonably and unapologetically? Believe in who you are and listen to your heart. Nothing can stop you from achieving what you truly want, law of attraction, affirmations or not. Share yourself, your gifts and talents. Step out of the shadows of superficial living, be bold and brave. Let your authentic self shine because what you need is already within you. You just have to uncover it.
Often it’s not what someone is saying but it’s more about what they are not saying that gets them into trouble. For example, if you don’t express your concerns at work about an issue, that issue might become much bigger down the road. This could be avoided by simply having a conversation and communicating what needs to be said. This type of withheld communication whether in one’s personal or professional life is usually counter-productive. We think we are doing a “good” thing or helping the other person at the time, but the truth is we might fear the outcome of our sharing. We have to find a way of responsibly speaking the unspeakabale and getting the unsaid said. I interviewed Steven Gaffney, an honest communication expert, not too long ago. In the interview Steven shares some great tips on honest communication, it’s worth a listen.
By all means use affirmations. Just don’t use them to “feel good” as a band-aid on the surface. There’s more to you, your life than having a superficial make-over. To have a life that’s meaningful, on purpose and blissful you must dare to experience a deep inner transformation, be fiercely self-loving, unapologetic and unreasonable about living your best life ever. Don’t fall for the quick fixes and drive-through breakthroughs. There is no short cut to happiness. If there is one, it’s only through you. Affirm that.