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Peeling An Onion

My girls are 7, 6 and 3. I have already been requested by my oldest a few times regarding sleepovers at friends homes. Hmmmmm, breathe Mamma, breathe……

I remember as a kid, the idea of going over to a friend’s place for a sleepover was fun and exciting. As a mother, the idea of my daughter going to a friend’s place for a sleepover is scary and an absolute NO-NO! Breathe in (count to 4), breathe out (count to 4), repeat….! While the arguments, pros, cons and opinions regarding this idea are limitless, how does this relate to my Anahatha (the heart center) journey? This dilemma helps me get present to the “Peeling An Onion” phenomena as I like to call it.


What does “Peeling An Onion” mean in the context of Anahatha? It’s a metaphor for an integral aspect of the journey of personal transformation and spiritual growth. There are many layers of inner awareness and awakening. You can only get fully present to one layer at a time. When you give yourself permission to get fully present, go deeper than what is on the surface and allow a completion to happen, you shift. When you shift…..everything changes. I like that.

I like that because it helps me recognize if I am making choices for my daughter that are based in fear or based in love. And when I discern that there is a choice being made based in fear, I choose to shift. It’s a conscious “choice” that I can make. As what’s in the highest good of the whole is what the highest good is for each one of us. As is the macrocosm, so is the microcosm. Saying that your fate is not tied to mine is like saying your end of the boat is sinking. What’s interesting is also how the “mind” justifies our fears for us. The story I made up was that because I was the recipient of childhood abuse and molestation my children are not safe and under no circumstance will I ever, ever let them out of my sight.

I had an opportunity to shift my “fear-based” choice (above) to a “love-based” choice with the help of my husband Kash. What he said to me one day reminded me of one of my favorite poets Kahlil Gibran who wrote:

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

I welcome these opportunities for the “Peeling An Onion” phenomena to occur in my life. I am grateful to these moments of deeper awareness of myself so something can shift. Because when I shift, my transformation happens. And I like that.

I acknowledge myself for allowing this shift to happen within me and have made “love-based” choices on the subject of sleepovers. My girls have spent a weekend on two occasions now with friends who our family is very close to. It took me getting fully present and having a completion. But yes, still breathing….

Do you find yourself occasionally making “fear-based” choices too?

Is there a pattern or story around which area of your life you seem to be making those “fear-based” choices?

If you knew that you could release the old pattern of making those “fear-based” choices would you be willing to experience the “Peeling An Onion” phenomena?

With Love, Light and Peace,


Richa Badami

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