If you are reading this you probably know that my Personal Transformation and Spiritual Mentoring practice is called “Anahatha”. And Anahatha is the name given to the Heart Chakra. There are three Chakras that lie above the Heart Chakra and three Chakras that lie below the Heart Chakra and it is at the Heart Chakra that heaven and earth meet. My students and retreat participants have heard me say this many times.
But why am I saying this to you now?
Well, on my recent trip to India I had some insights into a deeper space of my Anahatha (Heart) journey and I felt like it was time for me to share these insights with you.
Ever had an experience where things get so twisted and you have no idea where you’re heading? Then you find out that all that twisting ended up being a yummy, delicious pretzel. Frankly, I don’t care for pretzels, but just for yucks, let’s say I did.
Something completely unexpected and unplanned happened in India. And I am so glad it did.
From 8 to 18 I had a twisted, lonely, depressed and angry life. Very, very angry. I grew up in a highly dysfunctional family and environment and was the recipient of emotional, mental, sexual abuse and molestation. By the time I turned 21, three years after transplanting myself away from the craziness, I started my personal transformation journey. And voila! Here I am now seventeen years later still finding deeper layers that were waiting to be released and set free. And in setting them free, I set myself free.
Ok, so what happened?
Call it circumstances or the Universe at work, but I ended up visiting two of my childhood homes that were most significant in making an impression on my mind and spirit. One house had been demolished and a fancy new upscale, high-end building was in its place (was this a metaphor?). The second house was occupied by my best friend’s family who I decided to pay a surprise visit to in the spur of the moment.
I always say that transformation work is like peeling an onion. There is always another deeper layer.
At the house I was reconnected with that little girl, around 8 years old confused, lost and lonely. In one instance I realized I had just hit the jackpot. This was a great opportunity.
The moment I realized that knowing what I know now, I could go deeper and witness what was true for me in my present context. I noticed that there was no emotional pain or anger. I could see that this house, this physical place, this structure was just in my mind the “attachment” I had in my cellular memory still ready to trigger something.
What was it trying to trigger?
I called on Reiki energy and the symbols. I meditated and visualized the release of this “attachment”. Then, I hopped in the shower.
As the shampoo washed off my hair and I was getting myself ready to “re-emerge” from the bathroom to meet with the rest of the family it dawned on me.
I hadn’t fully grieved the death of my childhood – the years that were a complete blur to me.
When I left home at 18 – everyone said I had been a “victim” and then few years later I was told how I was now the “survivor.” Yay!
After this trip to India I realized that I was neither victim nor survivor.
I was just a girl on her journey that was for her. This moment shifted me farther and deeper both at the same time. And for this I am humbled and very grateful.
And here we are, almost to the end of January in 2012. This year is an invitation to all of us to use the energy of transformation that is flowing very powerfully at this time. This shift is for us to transform, grow and manifest the life that we are being called to live in this lifetime.
Let me ask you: Are you still peeling back layers when they show up in your life? Are you willing to see some adverse situations as opportunities for Spiritual Growth? Are you ready to forgive yourself? Care for yourself? Unconditionally love yourself?
I invite you to “Come Home To The Heart” as well and live what’s true for YOU. Namaste.